I found David Brooks', The Road to Character, extremely interesting from the get-go. Throughout the book he examines the duel between the external- and our internal-self. But, curiously, it was the introduction that I got fixated with, where he explores the difference between the resume virtues and the eulogy virtues. The eulogy virtues are the inner traits - those found at the core of our being - which define the type of character we are. It is the "internal us" that wants to embody certain moral qualities - build a "serene inner character, a solid sense of right and wrong - not only do good - but be good. Wants to love intimately - sacrifice self in the service of others to live in obedience to some transcendent truth, to have a cohesive inner soul that honors creation and one's own possibilities." On the other hand, as the name indicates, the resume virtues are the ones you list on your resume: the skills that you bring to the job market and that contribute to external success. The strategies used to achieve successful careers. It represents our external self that "wants to build, create, produce, and discover things. That wants high status and victories."

The thing is: we spend more time on our resume-self, then on developing a profound character (!). Our society is mostly oriented around the resume virtues, and "most of us have clearer strategies for how to achieve career success than we do for how to develop a profound character". While the resume virtues want to conquer the world, savor their victories and rise the ladder; the eulogy virtues want to make the world a better place, is willing to make sacrifices (success and status) for the sake of a purpose and savor the warmth of their family. David points out that these are type of people that go unnoticed. The kind, cheerful, but reserved ones. The ones that have no need to prove anything to the world: humanity, restraint, reticence, temperance, respect, and gentle self-discipline.

The thing is: when thinking about where I was, with regards to both virtues, I noticed that I had much to grow still. I want to leave behind a legacy where I am known to get things done; to be able to deal with conflicts while radiating tranquility; to have a story which others can build upon while struggling towards maturity. Not requiring recognition, but truly solving some of life's essential problems. I've started to notice already that some things have been changing within me, in the last year: I can truly live the moment - enjoy doing the impressive work I may be involved with - and still be continuously delighted by the experiences of those that surround me. I have been more focused and more capable of recognizing what needs doing and do it; to make those around me better and to enable them to their potential when I speak with them. But the room for growth is much larger. I want to answer softly when challenged harshly, be dignified when others try to humiliate me, restrained when others try to provoke me. I want to be the kind of person that "After you've known them for a while it occurs to you that you've never heard them boast, you've never seen them self-righteous or doggedly certain. They aren't dropping little hints of their own distinctiveness and accomplishments."

I recognize the contradiction of publicly talking about this, obviously. But, to achieve my goal of building a strong inner character, I have to publicly set them.